Computing’s Thirteen Most Annoying Moments (Part I)

February 12, 2010 - By Justin E. Gehrke

February 12, 2010 – Computer history can be said to date back to 300 B.C. with the Babylonian’s invention of the Abacus. It may not have had any wires, a motherboard, or a processor, but it still took a previously manual task and turned it into, at least, a semi-automated one. In the 1,700 years that have since past, mankind has made huge strides in technology. These led us, in small steps, to the point at which we are now. The invention of the telephone led to the first transatlantic telephone call. The invention of machines to decode messages led to our ability to implement secure communications, via both voice and data.

The fact that one invention or discovery eventually leads to another also applies to the evolution of what we consider to be “annoying stuff”. For every positive discovery, there is the potential for it to lead to an unforeseen and, often, annoying consequence. Such being the case, what are a few technological milestones that have been positive but led to annoying consequences for the computing masses? With that, we present to you The Thirteen Most Annoying Moments in Computing History. Why choose thirteen? We’ll let you figure that one out on your own. Don’t get us wrong. These are great achievements, for which we’ll be forever grateful. Nonetheless, they have led to things that truly annoy computer users around the world, on a daily basis.

Since we know that the average person will allot only about two minutes to read any given article on the web, we’ve broken it down into Parts I and II. Events are listed chronologically, not in level of annoyance. Today, we’ll look at events 1-7. Our hope is that readers will walk away feeling like we do, grateful, yet mildly annoyed, at the technological milestones that helped us get to where we are today. So, without further ado, onto the list…

The Thirteen Most Annoying Moments in Computing History – Part I

1947 – Guilty Party: RADM Grace Hopper - While working on Harvard University’s Mark II Computer, U.S. Navy Rear Admiral Grace Hopper fell victim to the first recorded instance of a computer bug. During the course of monitoring its operation, she and her coworkers discovered a relay was not working. What was the problem? There was a moth stuck in between two relays. While this was no fault of their own, she is said to have remarked that they were forced to “debug” the system. Since then, the term “debugging” has become synonymous with troubleshooting computer software, operating systems, etc. How does it affect us today? Debugging has become an accepted part of development and, sadly, post-production use. This last part is something that Microsoft has taken to particularly high heights of annoyance, with their inherently “bugged” products and subsequent “Patch Tuesdays”.

1950 – Guilty Party: Alan Turing – Turing was a cryptographic genius who contributed greatly in breaking enemy code during World War II. Unfortunately, he was also later demonized based on his lifestyle choices, which overshadowed an otherwise stunning career. After the war, he went on to pioneer and develop computational theories that still shape the way we compute, today. Specifically, he came up with the concept of “The Turing Test”. This simple test hypothesizes that, when the “thoughts” of a machine and a human being cannot be distinguished from one another, the machine has won, since it can now pass for a human. His question? “Are there imaginable digital computers which could do well in the [Turing Test]?” This test has since been used as a core consideration when discussing artificial intelligence. How has this superhuman thought led to an arguably negative consequence? Well, since then, evil geniuses have had a clear goal to shoot for when building evil robots and testing their ability to replace the rest of us. Very annoying.

1952 – Guilty Party: CBS News – During the evening of the November 4, 1952, Presidential election, Cronkite and Collingwood were party to the inaugural use of a computer designed to scientifically predict the election’s results. Known as the UNIVAC, the computer correctly predicted victory by Dwight D. Eisenhower, which ran contrary to voter opinion poll results. Obviously, they questioned the validity of the results and refrained from announcing the projected results, until much later in the night. While Eisenhower came away as the clear winner, television viewers around the world have long-since suffered, since every cable news network and news-oriented websites now devotes hours, weeks, and months to broadcasting every waking moment of the campaign, the election itself, and, of course, the ensuing, endless analysis of the results. Throw in the 160-inch touchscreen, and its an annoying, “Red and Blue” free-for-all. (Of course, we’re not talking about Jon Stewart and his excellent journalistic skills.)

1970 – Guilty Party: Vietnam War Protesters – This incident involved anti-war protestors attacking the Physics Department at the University of Wisconsin. While the protest is not the actual annoyance (Free speech reigns here.), the method they chose was. In addition to one death and three other injuries, the bomb they exploded destroyed a computer center and disrupted operations relating to ongoing research. In retrospect, it can be said that the protestors staged the first, successful Denial of Service Attack (DoS) on a computing facility. Since then the methods have changed from physical to electronic, but when you can’t get check email, read Yahoo OMG, or post a tweet because of someone’s political beliefs or sick sense of humor, it is very easy to become annoyed with the protestors for giving others ideas.

1971 – Guilty Party: Ray Tomlinson – During this eventful year, Tomlinson, a researcher at Bolt, Beranek and Newman, is credited with implementing the “@” in email addresses. Additionally, he is credited with sending history’s first email message. Sent through the military’s ARPANET (the precursor to the modern internet), the act was both quick and simple. The resulting possibilities, though, were monumental. In 2010, though, we can also see the huge annoyance that has resulted via the proliferance of SPAM emails promising internet profits, unclaimed lottery winnings, and rewards for helping oppressed African royalty. Add to that the infinite number of 5MB PowerPoint shows featuring pictures of kittens, babies in buckets, and assorted animated GIFs propagated to millions of email accounts daily, and it is easy to see why Tomlinson’s achievement has led (through no fault of his own) to huge annoyance for the average computer user who wants to see who tagged them in a Facebook photo.

1972 – Guilty Party: Ralph Baer – Beginning in 1966, Baer began to develop prototypes for Sanders Associates. Based on the genius behind some of his most famous creations, to include the first video game console, the light gun, and Pong, he is considered by many to be the “Father of Video Games”. Thanks to his contributions, the Atari was eventually born. Since then, video game technology has evolved to current offerings like the PlayStation 3, Wii, and Xbox. While these are all respectable achievements appreciated by video game aficionados around the world, millions of non-gaming boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, and significant others would disagree. For them, video games represent the loss of their loved one’s ability to hear anything not emanating from surround-sound speakers, the inability to focus on the real world, and, in general, a huge annoyance. (Okay, this isn’t really a computer user annoyance, but we have to take non-technopiles into consideration, too.)

1975 – Guilty Party: Larry Roberts – During the period when the ARPANET still ruled the technical world, Larry Roberts dreamt up the concept of the Telenet. He developed the idea into the first commercial packet-switching network. Linking a then unimaginable seven cities together, it proved that networks could be constructed and extended over vast geographical distances. Obviously, we are all greatly indebted to Roberts. For instance, you wouldn’t have read this (Thanks, Larry!) today if I wasn’t able to post it, through the miracle of networking interconnectivity. So what is the residual annoyance to computer users? Well, unfortunately the project did not remain free. Roberts’ creation evolved into today’s Internet Service Providers (ISP). (Think of Mogwai getting wet or eating after a certain hour.) ISPs undoubtedly now rule the techno-universe. Without them, you have no internet. The result? Exorbitant fees, fluctuating bandwidth, and, in some cases, blocked torrents, which all create a mega-annoyance to the computer user’s bank account, ability to freely surf the web, and chance to download gigabytes of MP3′s and movies. (Of course, we know everyone purchases them legally and not at “The Special Internet Store”)

Well, that’s the list of annoying moments 1-7. You may agree, disagree, or think we’re a few bits short of a byte. In any case, we hope you’ll stay tuned for Part II, where we’ll look at the annoyances caused by USENET, the Apple Corporation, Worms, Microsoft Windows, and MySpace. Until then, try to enjoy the miracle of computing and ignore the minor annoyances that go along with it.



(Disclaimer: Obviously this list was developed around significant computing achievements made by very respectable individuals. No offense is intended toward the people, companies, or products mentioned. This commentary is made in jest and should be read the same way. As is the case with any great invention, someone will always find a way to misuse it, abuse it, or otherwise just mess it up.)